“What a day for a recreation! We now have Max Scherzer and Justin Verlander squaring off at present to determine who goes to the World Collection for the American League, and–maintain on, clear the room! Mr. Met, no! Don’t do it!–*television channel goes to static*” Okay, that is going to sound loopy, however the Mets did nicely on the deadline. It’s not how they might’ve imagined it within the preseason, however unloading two fossils for prospects, they usually can simply purchase once more this offseason. In fact, they’ll probably take the prospects they only obtained and commerce them for, like, George Springer, nevertheless it’s a method. Now, attributable to their luxurious tax implications, it’s crucial they lose as many video games as potential, which brings me to: You too is usually a Mets starter! Simply head all the way down to Metco and line up! Auditions begin at 2 PM on Thursday. So, Justin Verlander returns to the Astros…*yawns* If the largest transfer through the Commerce Deadline is Justin Verlander returning to Houston, then what a nap. Let’s go Yankees, do a transfer nobody likes! Let’s go Dodgers, seize one other participant nobody desires! C’mon, Rays, seize one other forgotten starter and make him an ace! A man Verlander’s age doesn’t change out of the blue. He might be nice for ratios, and provides IP, however his Ks have gone bye-bye and he’s not finding as nicely. He goes to a harder park, however a neater division, although the Astros face a bunch of AL East groups in August. I’ll say it’s lateral, and you need to know what you’re getting. Properly…You might be getting a one-day contract to pitch for the Mets! Simply head all the way down to the stadium!
Because it turned out, all of that Verlander enterprise was a preamble for a historic occasion that was about to occur that evening. Was it Lance Lynn’s first crotch seize on his new crew, the Dodgers? Properly, that did occur, however no-no. Framber Valdez threw a no-hitter with one stroll and seven Ks, reducing his ERA to three.07. So, The Framchise threw the Astros’ first lefty no-hitter on a day they introduced again a man with three of them. It’s fairly inspiring. Perhaps you’re subsequent for the Mets! Critically, they want arms, head all the way down to Metco this Thursday. Anyway, right here’s what else I noticed yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Jean Segura – Traded to the Guards and launched. As a By no means-Nude man, I don’t like dropping any Denims.
Jake Burger – Traded to the Marlins. My autocorrect modified Burger-Marlins to a Burger-Merkin and now I’ve that picture in my head so you’ll as nicely. Sorry, not sorry. “Hey, man, why do you’ve got a burger masking your crotch?” “It’s my Burger Merkin, man, what’s your drawback?” That will make extra sense why Lance Lynn retains grabbing himself. Why am I snorting on the considered somebody utilizing a burger as merkin? I’m so juvenile. Any hoo! Good for the Marlins, who’re actual consumers. Love that! Burger is a good pickup too, he might hit the ball out of any park. He’s one of the vital underrated energy hitters possibly within the recreation. Underrated or underwear? Burger Merkin!
Josh Bell – Traded to the Marlins. Simply as everybody assumed, the Marlins the largest consumers. Although, I hate this transfer. You had Josh Bell already in Garrett Cooper with only a barely much less flashy identify. I’m not a Josh Bell fan in any respect. He’s such a floor ball machine. Can perceive Miami taking a look at Dangerous Boys’ Will Smith to get pleasure from a bit of Summertime and Gettin’ Jiggy Wit’ It, however they need to’ve stopped earlier than Ring My Bell. Will probably be fascinating to see if the Guards deliver up Manzardo instantly or let this yr play out. Just like the teamster smoking, my guess is leaning on the latter. There’s no purpose to deliver him up earlier than September, no less than.
Sandy Alcantara – 8 IP, 0 ER, 5 baserunners, 5 Ks, ERA at 4.21. Marlins final large commerce deadline deal was getting 2022 Alcantara.
Michael Lorenzen – Traded to the Phils. However he’s approaching his IP restrict, like DC Comics. So, he may very well be used as a reliever, and, actually, he’d prolly hit extra homers than Bryce if he DH’d daily. He’s high-quality in deeper blended leagues if he’s beginning, however tremendous iffy on long-term worth.
Rodolfo Castro – Traded to the Phils. He’s a utility man with a excessive utilities invoice, which is why he carries his cellphone in his again pocket.
Ranger Suarez – 6 1/3 IP, 1 ER, 12 baserunners (2 BBs), 3 Ks, ERA at 4.01. Getting tied to the WHIPping publish hurts, however Streamonator loves his subsequent one.
Garrett Cooper – Traded to the Padres. I mentioned above that Bell was Cooper, so, let me make clear, I don’t love Cooper both. Cooper had little worth as an on a regular basis hitter, and he’s not an on a regular basis hitter anymore.
Josiah Grey – 3 2/3 IP, 5 ER. ERA at 3.54. His peripherals are very not good. Grey is the brand new blech.
Andrew Chafin – Traded to the Brewers. There hasn’t been Chafin like this in Milwaukee since Fonzie in these bootyhuggers!
Tommy Pham – Traded to the Dbacks. Properly, he’s obtained his fantasy soccer crew identify, the Diamondsmacks. Looks like a greater actual world transfer, than for fantasy, as Pham will probably be a 4th outfielder.
Jack Flaherty – Traded to the Orioles. O’s have change into a stable “we will repair him” crew for pitchers, and Flaherty has appeared mechanically off for just a few years, so will probably be fascinating to see if the O’s can repair him, however that’s the type of factor that doesn’t occur in a single day, so Flaherty may want an offseason for actual fixing. The stadium is nice, the crew is a lot better for wins, however Flaherty’s command received’t be mounted in a single day, so it’s good for his worth, however he doesn’t out of the blue change into an ace. As for the Playing cards’ opening, I’d guess Liberatore strikes again into the Playing cards’ rotation, however that’s an NL-Solely observe.
Gunnar Henderson – 3-for-5, 2 runs, 4 RBIs and his 18th homer, 2nd homer in as many video games. Like to see the Orioles do nicely this yr, however I additionally need Gunnar to fade so his draft worth is low subsequent yr. Conflicted!
Bo Bichette – Didn’t begin, however there’s no structural harm to his knee. Your hexagonal prayers have been answered because it’s not an ACL. It nonetheless might require an IL stint, although.
Paul DeJong – Traded to the Jays. The Jays went from Boba to mustard. Guess if you happen to’re dipping your scorching canine right into a drink that’s a optimistic, or if you happen to’re utilizing a scorching canine as a straw. DeJong goes to a greater lineup, however what has that accomplished for Matt Chapman? I imply, a bit higher, however emphasis on a “bit.”
Brandon Belt – 2-for-4 and his ninth homer. He goes zero to schmotato in a second.
Danny Jansen – 1-for-4, 2 RBIs and his fifteenth homer, and third homer in every week. He has 29 HRs in two years in 141 video games. Zoinks!
Hyun-Jin Ryu – 5 IP, 4 ER, ERA at 7.20, as he was activated from the IL. Lot of individuals asking about Ryu, and I can’t perceive it. Ryu determined?
Ben Full of life – 4 IP, 13 ER, ERA at 5.20. Ben Lethal.
Trey Mancini – Designated for task. Oh no, not Man-cheeny, as my Italian family members would name him.
Dansby Swanson – 2-for-4, 5 RBIs and his 14th and fifteenth homer, and three homers in two video games. Additionally, again: Cody Bellinger (3-for-6, 3 runs, 3 RBIs and a slam, 16, and legs, 13) hit a homer off the scoreboard that was classic “Rattling, Bellinger is superior.” Lastly, although, who’re we kidding, each Cubs hitter hit one thing, Mike Tauchman went 2-for-3, 3 runs, 4 RBIs and had a slam (6) and legs (4).
Tyler O’Neill – 1-for-4 and his third homer. Holy crap, he solely has three homers this yr! Certain, possibly he will get scorching, nevertheless it’s August! Holy crap!
Brendan Donovan – Set to bear season-ending surgical procedure. Ugh, simply brutal. Additionally, with the lack of Colonel Mustard, and Playing cards now really need an infielder. Yesterday, they went to Camp Grenada at 2nd saying, Whats up Motter.
Ryan Yarbrough – Traded to the Dodgers. I’m sorry. In Los Angeles, it’s “Yeah, brah.”
Lance Lynn – 7 IP, 3 ER, 6 baserunners, 7 Ks, ERA at 6.32. Dodgers mounted him! I’m 10,000% kidding. He allowed three homers. He’s about as mounted as your mom’s canine that retains humping your leg.
Zack Gelof – 2-for-4 and his 4th homer in solely 15 video games. Held off on touting him lots when he was hitting for energy on a latest Coors’ street journey, however now: Sizzling schmotato alert!
Keynan Middleton – Traded to the Yanks. Yanks’ GM Cashman is like Robert De Niro in Awakenings. Simply frozen in place.
Spencer Howard – Traded to the Yanks. That’s one method to make Severino look higher.
Carlos Rodon – 4 IP, 4 ER, ERA at 6.29. I’m able to get off this sinking ship.
Kolten Wong – Designated for task. Effective, it needed to be accomplished, however did the Mariners’ GM have to decorate like Lorena Bobbitt when chopping Wong?
Eugenio Suarez – 2-for-4, 3 RBIs and his fifteenth homer, and it’s concerning the tenth time I’m mentioning Mr. 2nd Half.
Luis Urias – Traded to the Purple Sox. With the wall including thirty factors on his BABIP, that digital camera including 15 kilos, and his energy, this might finish being a stable transfer, however clearly not price something in blended leagues till he will get scorching, or does actually something. Seems like AL-Solely leagues obtained everybody.
Reese McGuire – 1-for-3, 2 RBIs and his 1st homer. Should’ve been bizarre for him to get that jack off with so many watching.
Jose Quintana – 6 2/3 IP, 3 ER, 8 baserunners, 2 Ks, ERA at 3.57. Mets are attempting to lose, so their pitchers won’t be the most effective place to look.
Pete Alonso – 2-for-5, 2 RBIs and his thirty first homer. Albombso!
Francisco Alvarez – 2-for-5, 2 runs, 2 RBIs and his twenty first homer. A catcher with 21 homers on the primary day of August, who didn’t even play within the majors all yr, remains to be eliciting questions within the feedback.
Austin Hedges – Traded to the Rangers. He may very well be an amazing alternative for Heim; he may very well be a horrible alternative for Heim — Hedges.
Andrew Heaney – 6 IP, 0 ER, 2 hits, zero walks, 11 Ks, ERA at 4.36. He higher have accomplished that since he was dealing with the White Sux. Streamonator likes his subsequent one, however I’m extra doubtful on that.
Wealthy Hill – Traded to the Padres. Hey, one like to Dick Mountain, but when Juan Soto, Manny Machado, Blake Snell, Josh Hader and others don’t make you a playoff contender, I’m undecided Wealthy Hill places you excessive.
Ji-Man Choi – Traded to the Padres. Pirates’ GM, Ben Cherington, was singing Black Sheep on the cellphone with the Padres whereas buying and selling Wealthy Hill, and ended up together with Ji-Man when he instructed them the Choi’s Yours.
Scott Barlow – Traded to the Padres. Ha, if you happen to thought Hill and Choi won’t repair the Padres? Don’t fear, they obtained the worst former nearer! Carlos Hernandez ought to take over in Kansas Metropolis, and certain will probably be higher than the final man, however the bar was low.
Juan Soto – 2-for-5, 4 RBIs and his twenty first and twenty second homer. Traded to the Padres: Attractive Dr. Pepper’s outdated Launch Angle!
Bailey Falter – Traded to the Pirates. Falter? And get divorced? No thanks!
Alfonso Rivas – Went to Pirates in Choi/Hill commerce. May not quantity to greater than league-average, however I like Alfonso Rivas. Was a stable pickup by the Pirates. Basic Padres simply throwing away prospects for no purpose. He’s a bit outdated (26), however in 58 Triple-A video games he went 9/8/.332. That was with a excessive BABIP, and he’s barely NL-Solely, nevertheless it’s price a monocle.
Liover Peguero – 1-for-3, 2 RBIs and his third homer in 11 video games within the majors. He’s obtained 60-grade velocity too. I’ve him in a single NL-Solely league, so I’ve been very conscious of what he’s doing, however I feel it’s nonetheless a monocle state of affairs in blended leagues. That’s two monocles in two blurbs. If solely somebody had a nostril bridge to promote me!
Griffin Canning – Hit the IL. This additionally offers Silseth extra thlack on hith leath.
Michael Harris II – 2-for-3 and his tenth and eleventh homer. So, that’s what the II stands for!
Brad Hand – Traded to the Braves. Hand’s now performed for each NL East crew. Like a Catholic schoolgirl, that Hand’s been round.